Towards a new paradigm: “Mimicry of the Oppressed”
Part 1 If we aren’t “masking”, what then is happening to us in those moments that neurotypicals (NTs) think we must be?
Towards a new paradigm: “Mimicry of the Oppressed” Part 1 If we aren’t “masking”, what then is happening to us in those moments that neurotypicals (NTs) think we must be?
In my previous article, Masking or Mimicry, I talked about how “autistic masking” is described by non-autistic observers of autistic behavior as a process by which individuals with autism learn to mask or hide their autistic traits and behaviors in social situations in order to fit in and appear more “neurotypical” or NT (i.e. people without autism).
There are a few assumptions here—one of shame in the characterization of hiding, and that we do not want to be ourselves, we want to be more like NTs.
If we aren’t “masking”, what then is happening to us in those moments that neurotypicals (NTs) think we must be?
Autistic people describe the distressing and exhausting experience of trying to communicate or socialize with non-autistics, and the accompanying feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression.
If we are shrinking back at all, it is from the sensory onslaught or belittling, often demeaning, language and treatment by them. It would not be to hide in shame, but to shield from NTs and their behavior.
They expect us to be ashamed of what they see as aberrant. What we experience is actually the need to get away, and to recover. It’s a fight-or-flight reaction to the threatening nature of what they’re demanding of us: to be something we are not.
Autistic behavior is more like a colonized people’s mimicry of their oppressor. It is a natural response to a persistent non-recognition—the denial and disregard of personhood and identity.
Given the ongoing denial to acknowledge the autonomy of neurodivergent people—their very personhood—there is no denying an egregious ongoing violation of the civil and human rights of neurodivergents as a people. All over the world.
In future articles, I will look more closely at Paulo Freire’s premise that “oppressors also deny themselves freedom in the process of denying others, which makes them unable to become free. Therefore, oppressed people must liberate oppressors in order to make society free.”
What does that mean for neurodiversity efforts and individuals who are neurodivergent?
[Along that line, if you are NT, watch: How do you break free from your Neurotypical privilege?]
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In my previous article, Masking or Mimicry, I talked about how “autistic masking” is described by non-autistic observers of autistic behavior as a process by which individuals with autism learn to mask or hide their autistic traits and behaviors in social situations in order to fit in and appear more “neurotypical” or NT (i.e. people without autism).
They claim (as an observer who is not autistic) that the goal of masking is often to avoid social rejection.
From that point of view, autistics should want to be like NTs and learn their behaviors.
There’s an assumption here—we could not possibly want to be ourselves.
By definition, masking involves concealing one's own emotions. Right there, we have a problem. Autistic people do not conceal how they feel. Do you know one person with ADHD or ASD who “hides” their emotion? No, you don’t. That’s because it is uncommon for us.
From the non-autistic point of view, we are hiding who we are. We are characterized as shrinking back and retreating into ourselves. Our “own little world.” This common characterization in itself is belittling and diminishing. The autistic individual may even have internalized this idea and characterized their own lived experience in this way, or struggle to live like this.
Still, I have yet to meet an autistic person who is anything other than who they are.
That is the struggle.
Not that autistic people shrink back or hide who they are, but that the NT can see the fact of their authenticity and that they are all out front, real, and in the moment. We can’t hide who we are. From the point of view of the NT observer, we should, though, because our behavior is too unfamiliar.
Many neurotypical people may feel pressure to present themselves in a certain way in order to fit in or be accepted by others, whether it's in the context of work, school, or social relationships. This can involve altering one's speech patterns, mannerisms, or appearance to better align with societal expectations.
While the experience of masking can be common for many neurotypical people, it's important to note that the reasons for masking can vary widely and may be influenced by factors such as cultural background, gender, or social status. Some NTs may feel more pressure to mask certain aspects of their identity or behavior than others, and the experience of masking can have different impacts on different individuals.
It's important to approach the topic of masking with sensitivity and empathy, and to recognize that individuals may have complex and nuanced experiences with conforming to social norms or expectations.
It is important to be sensitive. But I may not. I am unavoidably honest and am likely to express a counter or, even more likely, inappropriate (according to neurodominant standards) opinion. That’s because I do not have the ability to hide or disguise myself. I cannot mask. For autistics, hiding who we are is not one of our features.
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Forcing, or just expecting, neurodivergent people to feign a neurodominant persona and live in a neurodominant world but then describing spectrum behavior as masking is blatant ableist projecting. It’s the neurotypical (NT) people who often hide who they really are to fit in all the time. It’s built into their codified social behaviors.
We are the opposite of hiding, by nature. To expect neurodivergents (NDs) to act and speak as NTs dictate, it’s like making us their puppet. Insisting a neurodivergent undergo the contortions and self-denial required to seem to be like the neurodominant (which is a tortuously violent onslaught, often making us physically ill and die at a rate ten times higher than of the rest of the population), then pathologizing the anxiety and health impact it results in, is ableist gas lighting. Closer to torture (Read my piece How I learned to read and write and resist Procrustes bed).
In my previous article, Masking or Mimicry, “autistic masking” is described by non-autistic observers of autistic behavior as a process by which individuals with autism learn to mask or hide their autistic traits and behaviors in social situations in order to fit in and appear more "neurotypical" or NT (i.e. people without autism). They claim (as an observer who is not autistic) that the goal of masking is often to avoid social rejection or misunderstanding. The obvious implication is that we would want to. An NT observer of autistic behavior, noticing anything unlike themselves and what they are familiar and comfortable with, will often demand that the ND adjust themselves to not be as foreign in communication and social interaction.
From that point of view, autistics should want to be like NTs and learn their behaviors. The assumption is that we could not possibly want to be ourselves with shame built-in and influencing the way NTs treat NDs and NDs treat themselves––by internalizing all that nonsense.
By definition, masking involves concealing one's own emotions, while mimicry involves imitating the behavior of others. Right there, we have a problem. Autistic people do not conceal how they feel. Do you know one person with ADHD or ASD who “hides” their emotion? No, you don’t. That’s because we do not hide anything. Hiding is not how we are made.
From the non-autistic point of view, we are hiding who we are. We are characterized as shrinking back and retreating into ourselves. The autistic individual may even have internalized this and characterized their own lived experience in this way, or struggle to pretend to live like this.
Still, I have yet to meet an autistic person that has a capacity to be anything other than who they are.
That is the struggle.
It is not a matter of autistic people shrinking back or hiding who they are, but that the NT can see the fact of their authenticity and that they are all out front, real, and in the moment. We can’t hide who we are and from the point of view of the NT observer, we must because it is too unfamiliar to themselves, or too uncommon as to verge on threatening.
Particularly for those who engage in that NT favorite of not saying what you mean or meaning what you say, and here comes your brother or neighbor or cousin or some such talking about everything in a most exposing and transparent way without distinguishing anything that might be considered private by any NT.
Many neurotypical people may feel pressure to present themselves in a certain way in order to fit in or be accepted by others, whether it's in the context of work, school, or social relationships. This can involve altering one's speech patterns, mannerisms, or appearance to better align with societal expectations.
While the experience of masking can be common for many neurotypical people, it's important to note that the reasons for masking can vary widely and may be influenced by factors such as cultural background, gender, or social status. Some NTs may feel more pressure to mask certain aspects of their identity or behavior than others, and the experience of masking can have different impacts on different individuals.
It's important to approach the topic of masking with sensitivity and empathy, and to recognize that individuals may have complex and nuanced experiences with conforming to social norms or expectations.
That is important, but I may not. I am unavoidably honest and am likely to express a counter or, even more likely, inappropriate (according to neurodominant standards) opinion. That’s because I do not have the ability to hide or disguise myself in my speech, or who I am. I cannot mask. For autistics, hiding who we are is not one of our features.
If it isn’t, what then is happening to us in those moments that NTs think we must be masking?
Autistic people will describe the distressing and exhausting experience of trying to communicate or socialize with non-autistics, and the accompanying feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression.
If we are shrinking back at all, it is from the sensory onslaught or treacherous NT fakery, or the belittling, often demeaning treatment by NTs. It would not be to hide in shame, but to shield from them and their behaviors.
It seems what is actually happening when we undergo NTs demands, and we adjust ourselves to accommodate them, our response of wanting to get away from them is interpreted as shrinking back out of shame. They expect us to be ashamed of what they see as aberrant behavior. What we experience is more a need to get as far from the NTs aggressive and tyrannical falseness, or demand for sameness, as we can, and then to recover.
Autistic behavior is closer to a colonized people’s mimicry of their oppressor in that it is a natural response by the oppressed to a vehement denial and disregard of their personhood and identity (the persistent non-recognition).
Given the dangerous hegemony at play and the ongoing denial to acknowledge the autonomy of neurodivergent people—their very personhood—there is no denying an egregious ongoing violation of the civil and human rights of neurodivergents as a people. All over the world.
In future articles, I will look more closely at Paulo Freire’s premise that “oppressors also deny themselves freedom in the process of denying others, which makes them unable to become free. Therefore, oppressed people must liberate oppressors in order to make society free.”
What does that mean for neurodiversity efforts and individuals who are neurodivergent?
[Along that line, if you are NT, watch: How do you break free from your Neurotypical privilege?]